Homemade Metal Calf Weaner
Homemade metal calf weaner. Lol, right? Yeah, well strap in, because this calf certainly had to. So farmer Joe has a crop of cows, and I mean a CROP. Of cows. Momma cow is milking away, raising the shit out of these little dudes and dudettes. Cute as can be, everyone’s happy. Oh wait, it’s a working farm, we need that milk to sell and we need these little fuckers to get fat and productive ASAP. You know what’s in the way? Nature. BB cows are drinking up all the milk, and not getting enough fake stuff pumped into them to get fat quick. I’m sure we’re all seeing the same very obvious conclusion here. STRAP A METAL SPIKEY THING ONTO THE CALFS FACE SO IT POKES THE MOMMA COW IN THE TEET AND SHE WILL KICK THE BABY IN THE FACE WHEN THEY TRY AND FEED. It’s so damn obvious. These have been around for hundreds of years and are still used today so ostensibly this is in fact the best way to handle this. WILD. Also just aesthetically, what choices here. Is this a functioning farm implement, or is this Sauron’s Iron Crown as forged by Morgoth in the First Age? Dealer’s choice. Abuse a baby cow or complete a monstrously good, Silmarillion-accurate Mairon costume. I have entirely too many of these, that’s why I’m selling this one. The crazy variety in calf weaners, all absolutely terrifying, is shocking. Metal, leather, wood, forged, carved. All scary, all alluring, all BDSMy. Form follows function, right? Farmers are absolutely wild for these.
10"x10"x4.5"
Homemade metal calf weaner. Lol, right? Yeah, well strap in, because this calf certainly had to. So farmer Joe has a crop of cows, and I mean a CROP. Of cows. Momma cow is milking away, raising the shit out of these little dudes and dudettes. Cute as can be, everyone’s happy. Oh wait, it’s a working farm, we need that milk to sell and we need these little fuckers to get fat and productive ASAP. You know what’s in the way? Nature. BB cows are drinking up all the milk, and not getting enough fake stuff pumped into them to get fat quick. I’m sure we’re all seeing the same very obvious conclusion here. STRAP A METAL SPIKEY THING ONTO THE CALFS FACE SO IT POKES THE MOMMA COW IN THE TEET AND SHE WILL KICK THE BABY IN THE FACE WHEN THEY TRY AND FEED. It’s so damn obvious. These have been around for hundreds of years and are still used today so ostensibly this is in fact the best way to handle this. WILD. Also just aesthetically, what choices here. Is this a functioning farm implement, or is this Sauron’s Iron Crown as forged by Morgoth in the First Age? Dealer’s choice. Abuse a baby cow or complete a monstrously good, Silmarillion-accurate Mairon costume. I have entirely too many of these, that’s why I’m selling this one. The crazy variety in calf weaners, all absolutely terrifying, is shocking. Metal, leather, wood, forged, carved. All scary, all alluring, all BDSMy. Form follows function, right? Farmers are absolutely wild for these.
10"x10"x4.5"
Homemade metal calf weaner. Lol, right? Yeah, well strap in, because this calf certainly had to. So farmer Joe has a crop of cows, and I mean a CROP. Of cows. Momma cow is milking away, raising the shit out of these little dudes and dudettes. Cute as can be, everyone’s happy. Oh wait, it’s a working farm, we need that milk to sell and we need these little fuckers to get fat and productive ASAP. You know what’s in the way? Nature. BB cows are drinking up all the milk, and not getting enough fake stuff pumped into them to get fat quick. I’m sure we’re all seeing the same very obvious conclusion here. STRAP A METAL SPIKEY THING ONTO THE CALFS FACE SO IT POKES THE MOMMA COW IN THE TEET AND SHE WILL KICK THE BABY IN THE FACE WHEN THEY TRY AND FEED. It’s so damn obvious. These have been around for hundreds of years and are still used today so ostensibly this is in fact the best way to handle this. WILD. Also just aesthetically, what choices here. Is this a functioning farm implement, or is this Sauron’s Iron Crown as forged by Morgoth in the First Age? Dealer’s choice. Abuse a baby cow or complete a monstrously good, Silmarillion-accurate Mairon costume. I have entirely too many of these, that’s why I’m selling this one. The crazy variety in calf weaners, all absolutely terrifying, is shocking. Metal, leather, wood, forged, carved. All scary, all alluring, all BDSMy. Form follows function, right? Farmers are absolutely wild for these.
10"x10"x4.5"